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Treepunk

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Jack Lux coat, G-Star jeans, Dr. Martens boots.

PHOTOS BY JON ESTWARDS AND KEITH RACE
STYLIST: LAURA MARLIN

Stylist Assistant: Christian Flores
Makeup: Sarah Connor
Dreadlock Wigs: Lililox
Hair Horns and Natural Hair Wigs: Mia Dominique at Salon Adikt
Men’s Hair: MJ Déziel
Hair Assistant: Esteban Nault
Nails: Elfi Lemieux at Palooza Nails
Set Designer: Veronica Classen
On-Site Producer: Raf Katigbak
Models: Ariane G., Eve B., Ryon, and Simon at Dulcedo Model Management

La Caché dress and slip, Henri Henri beret, Boutique 1861 scarf, Betsey Johnson necklace, Mielcoeur bracelet.

Jack Lux dress and slip, Mielcoeur headpiece and necklace.

Ovate shirt, Diesel T-shirt and belt, Y-3 shorts, Topman leggings, Dr. Martens boots.

Jack Lux cape and gloves, Mielcoeur headpiece.

Vintage tunic, Gloomth shirt, BGGO Boutique skirt; Ovate vest, Gloomth shirt, Y-3 shorts.

BGGO Boutique shawl and skirt, Yetts sweater.

Dolcezza top, Betsey Johnson dress, Dr. Martens boots, Mielcoeur necklace.

Jack Lux jacket, Zara T-shirt, Diesel Black Gold jeans, Dr. Martens boots; La Caché tunic, Dr. Martens boots and socks.

Kambriel gown.

Jack Lux trench coat, Diesel shirt, Kris Van Assche shorts, Topman leggings, Dr. Martens boots, Mielcoeur ring.

Betsey Johnson coat, Gloomth dress, Alice and the Pirates bloomers, Dr. Martens boots; Ovate cape, Heavy Red dress, Alice and the Pirates bloomers, Dr. Martens boots.


A Conversation with Legendary New York Photographer Maripol

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A Conversation with Legendary New York Photographer Maripol

We're Giving Away Dick Insurance!

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One of the best things about being rich and famous is that you can afford to take out insurance on any body part—your tits, your legs, your butt, or even your middle finger. Whatever you consider to be your strongest asset, no matter how delusional you might actually be, you can secure it for insane amounts of money like it’s no big deal. But now that luxury has become available to the peasants, as Undz, the Montreal-based underwear label, is now offering penis-insurance to all the men out there who are worried about losing their li'l guys in the sort of debilitating accident that generally happens only to people who were already destined to fail as human beings anyway.

Starting March 15, by buying three pairs of underwear from the Undz online store, dudes will be able to walk away with a $50,000 cert-dick-ficate from Lloyd’s of London, the go-to insurance company for stars who think they're so fine, they’d probably kill themselves if anything happened to their moneymakers. Although we’re not sure which famous womb raiders they’ve insured over the years, we do know that superstar-owned whang insurance is fairly common. The most famous of insured privates belongs to David Lee Roth, former 80s heartthrob turned Crypt Keeper whose sperm is of use only if you want your baby to be impervious to drug overdose or capable of really impressive high kicks. In our opinion, he doesn’t have terribly impressive genes, but maybe there is some great undiscovered talent out there the world doesn’t know about that needs saving—Dost thou hold the Holy Grail of secrets within thy penis? Pray tell, young swains!

Thanks to Undz, we are giving away insurance and three pairs of really fucking cool underwear to one lucky VICE reader who needs insurance for his manhood. (Warning: You must lose your member in some kind of accident in order to receive a payout. Lorena Bobbitt–type situations and self-castration are not covered!)

All you have to do is email fashion@vice.com with three short bullet points as to why you deserve to have your dick preserved for all eternity, and maybe we’ll pick you!

All entries must be received by Sunday, March 16, in order to qualify. On Monday, March 17, we’ll be posting the winner of our contest.

Note: Chicks telling you you’re good in bed doesn’t count because women lie. Also, no gnarly dick pics from Craigslist, please. Reverse-image search was basically invented for pervs like us, and we won’t hesitate to put you on blast just for being a sneaky freak.

Flushed

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Kuwaii shirt.

PHOTOS BY SCOTTIE CAMERON
STYLIST: ANNA MACKENZIE

Hair and Makeup: Holly-Rose Butler
Producer: Wendy Syfret
Models: Chloe Worthington, Daniel Love, Camille Macdonald

American Apparel underwear.

American Apparel bra, Per-Tim kimono. 

Moscot glasses from Occhino Eyewear, P.A.M jumpsuit.

P.A.M shirt.

American Apparel t-shirt.

Alpha 60 dress.


 

I Had The Most Meta Experience Of My Life At An Augmented-Reality Fashion Show

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I Had The Most Meta Experience Of My Life At An Augmented-Reality Fashion Show

Scally Lads Are Gay Brits Who Like to Smell Stinky Socks and Have Sex in Tracksuits

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Photos from a shoot for the Trackies website, “the place for guys who love trackies, trainers and scally gear.” All images by Picsbygaz.com, courtesy of Trackies.com

Deep within the fist-stretched bowels of the gay fetish scene, Britain’s working class and its budget sportswear chic have become objects of sexual fascination. Tracksuit bottoms tucked into white socks, sneakers, caps, hoodies, and clunky Argos gold are all eroticized by scally gear fetishists.

Sites such as SketBoy.com and SneakerSex.net feature guys who look like your local skunk dealer, fucking and jizzing in each other’s sneakers. The gay porn production company Triga Films produces comically titled bluecollar porn videos with names like Dads ’n’ Lads: Council House and Job Seeker’s Allowance: Extra Benefits, while UK Scally Lads has a web shop selling the cum-stained sports gear used in each photoshoot. There are hookup sites, too. FitLads.net and Trackies.com are strewn with profile pictures that look like mug shots pulled from the vaults of Merseyside Police’s Anti-Social Behavior Taskforce. Shaven-headed guys scowl into the camera, accessorizing cans of lager with Staffordshire bull terriers.

Much like the biker-loving leathermen and boot-licking skinheads of decades past, scally fetishism perpetuates a long-standing cycle of re-appropriation of working-class aesthetics within the gay scene. Phil Hamill, the founder of Trackies.com and the internet’s largest gay fetish network, Recon, sees this as a natural step in cultural evolution.

“Gay fetish always marries itself with the street culture of the generation that came before it,” he says from his company’s glass-paneled offices in east London. “You have these younger gay kids watching these cultures develop around them in their formative years. As they become older they start to wear the gear, sexualizing it, and it becomes a fetish.”

This fetish, in particular, is said to have grown out of the happy hardcore club scene that flourished in the Greater Manchester area in the late 90s. While the term “scally” has been used in the region to denote working-class youths with a penchant for violence and criminal behavior for decades, most of the fetishists I spoke to associate the term with that specific scene and era. It’s not clear when it crossed over into the fetish scene, but most of the sites I’ve mentioned appeared on the web three to four years ago—the two exceptions being FitLads, online since 2003, and Triga Films, which has been committing burly builder orgies to celluloid since 1997.

Although incredibly niche, this isn’t an isolated scene confined to the fringes of the UK’s gay underground. It’s just as popular in France, where they hold annual “Mister Sportswear” competitions, and it enjoys sizable followings in Holland, Germany, and Italy. Ladz, a bi-monthly sportswear fetish party in Amsterdam, regularly attracts 400 to 500 punters, while Trackies’ Facebook page has more than 22,000 likes. To put this into perspective, that’s almost a third as many as popular gay cruising app Grindr has.

Cruising guys on Trackies feels a lot like thumbing through a smutty JD Sports catalogue. Shots focus on bulging tracksuit crotches, and hooded, shirtless men sprawl out in front of their webcams like gym-bound centerfolds. Scally fetishists are particular about the brands they buy and how they wear them, with most admitting that no matter how hot someone is, a poor choice in footwear can be the difference between a hook-up and a lonely wank at home.

Adidas is the most popular choice of tracksuit, particularly the Chile 62 model. Its wet-look nylon gives it the appearance of an athletic gimp suit. Fetishists are visual people, so Adidas’s logo-heavy branding holds particular appeal. Nike is the overwhelming favorite in footwear, specifically TNs and Air Max 95s. Typically retailing at $155, these models were revered by straight scallies for being some of the priciest sneakers on the market back in the day. Like the super-sized jewelery and pimped-out rides you see in rap videos, this brash exclusivity resonates with working-class machismo, explains Alex Taylor, Trackies’ advertising director. “I’m from Manchester, and there were always scallies in school. For them it was all about status symbols, usually represented in footwear. That’s why Rockports were so popular, because they’re the most expensive shoes you could wear in school.”

Although they’re now interlinked via the web, the varying scally scenes across Europe developed organically, and each has its own local customs. While they still retain a penchant for TNs, French scallies (known as kiffeurs) dress exclusively in Lacoste, even down to their socks—again, a reflection of the brand’s price and prestige. Dutch sportswear fetishism borrows from the 1990s gabber scene, hence the popularity of the Air Max Classic and Air Max 90.

Fashion has particular significance for gay men because it also acts as a flagging system. In the 70s and 80s, handkerchief code helped them differentiate tops from bottoms as well as identify those with kinks similar to their own. In Britain, tracksuits are as common as a pair of jeans, so scally fetishists set themselves apart by meticulously curating their image. “In the gay scene we take a look and refine it,” says Alex. “A guy has to have the right sneakers, and his track bottoms must be tucked into his socks. It has to be a lot more obvious and on display. There is a concerted effort that goes into the look to stand out more than the average guy from a council estate. You want to show guys you’re into it and that it’s something that turns you on.”

While most people derive sexual pleasure from physical acts, like rim jobs or asphyxiation, fetishists draw erotic gratification from clothing. “If I’m having sex, it’s full gear. I wouldn’t even pull a tracksuit down to the knees,” says Phil. “I keep it as high as possible. If someone gets naked, then that’s me done. Time for some X Factor.”

“I like to keep the gear on when I wank,” says Niall, a guy I found on Trackies and whose name has been changed. “I’ll cum on the gear, either in it or on it, both when I’m by myself or with someone else.” Licking sneakers and socks is widespread, while “trampling”—a procedure where someone sprawls themselves out on the floor and offers their services as a human doormat—is big in Germany.

Because the tracksuit-and-sneakers combo is so commonplace, scally fetishists are likely to encounter dozens of unattainable cock teases every day. Consequently, for some of them the gear becomes a proxy for all the fucks they can’t have. “There are types of guys you’d like to go for but aren’t necessarily going to get,” says Niall. “You see them wearing certain things, and if you go out and buy them yourself, it’s almost like a bit of [the guy] is captured in the clothing.”

Scally fetishists don’t just get off from trips to Footlocker, though. If you’re straight, a stench in the bedroom is usually a sign that something’s gone horribly wrong, whereas for gay scallies this can be an additional source of arousal. Trackies is full of pictures of guys burying their snouts into sneakers like pigs at a trough. One guy who tried to cruise me on the site requested that I don’t shower for a week before our meet, telling me that he loves “stinky socks” and a “cheesy cock” because it’s “fucking manly, the smell of a real man.”

This obsession with being a “real man” was a recurring theme as I researched this piece. Ultimately, whether it’s consciously recognized or not, scally fetishism is a fixation on masculinity. A fetish develops when sexually arousing, inherently human qualities become associated with an inanimate object. In the case of sportswear, it’s the macho posturing and boisterous, hetero-normative masculinity of the scallies who wear it. “A suit doesn’t work for me. I don’t consider that masculine at all,” says Phil. “I guess the point I became attracted to sports gear is when I started seeing really masculine guys wearing it.”

Nearly everybody I spoke to echoed this sentiment. Most traced the origins of their fetish to their sexually formative years, when they began associating the people they were attracted to with the clothing they wore. “At school my mates were what you call ‘lads’ lads—into football, smoking, girls. I knew I liked guys, and these mates were my point of reference,” says Lee (not his real name), another guy I contacted on Trackies. “When you’re from a certain background, you wore those types of clothes. As I started fooling around with guys, I realized that their clothes turn me on too.”

Perhaps this goes some way towards explaining the enduring appeal of blue-collar subculture to gay fetishists. In the same way that clothing becomes associated with masculinity, it appears that class does as well.

“There’s this conflation of working-class masculinity and authenticity. Working-class men are somehow more authentic,” explains Murray Healy, the author of 1996’s Gay Skins: Class, Masculinity and Queer Appropriation—one of the earliest investigations into the gay skinhead scene. “They’re not processed by culture; they’re untamed, like ‘real men’ are supposed to be.” Ironically, despite their resemblance to the cast of Shameless, few of the guys I interviewed fit the socioeconomic profile of a scally or a “chav.” From successful businessmen like Phil Hamill to public-school boys and an architect, everyone appeared thoroughly middle class. One guy claimed to be from a “not so great area,” but according to Phil, no more than 20 percent of the guys come from deprived backgrounds, if that.

“It’s a lot like drag, but at the other end of the spectrum,” says Phil. “A lot of guys in this scene have normal jobs, like working in an office or a bar—they’re not selling drugs from a council flat—so it’s a form of release. It’s roleplay, pretending to be something different to what you are.”

Because it is roleplay, a great deal of congruency is needed to keep it genuine. “You take a look at a guy on Trackies, and he looks good, he’s got the gear,” says Alex, “but then you take a look at where he is—a room with a nice pink carpet and flowery bed sheets. At the back of my mind I’m going, Oh, his name’s actually Jonathan, and he’s an accountant from Surrey. It ruins the fantasy. You can’t be too old, either. Guys in their 40s and 50s just don’t fit the scally demographic and usually don’t understand the culture behind it, so you’ll often see them wearing the wrong gear. Oh, and fat people in sportswear? The irony is terrible…”

This congruency doesn’t simply stop at physical appearance; it extends to sex, too. “You’ll never have sex in a bed,” says Lee. “That’s so normal; it’s the missionary position, vanilla. I like to meet up with a guy in a pub, have a few pints, and then go fuck in the toilets. I know some guys who won’t have sex at all—they’ll just wank off together because they think it’s how straight lads would do it.”

“Straight” and “straight-acting” are words you see a lot on Trackies profiles. Everyone seems to be looking for an archetypical straight boy, and I wonder if the extensive use of ALL CAPS and poor spelling are all front, just superficial attempts at fitting into loutish stereotypes.

In some cases, this obsession with heterosexuality and fear of effeminacy is so extreme that it carries a tinge of homophobia. One guy, who declined to talk to me, proclaims on his profile: “I hate those fucking skinny jeans-wearing, glitter-faced queens. I like guys to be guys, and I might be a bottom, but I ain’t no sub-bitch either.” Even Lee, who claims he’s cool with his sexuality, admits, “The guys I met on FitLads.net back in the day were just typical blokes, but now it’s just like Gaydar, full of Soho queens who ponce around.”

It feels like lazy pop-psychology, but it’s impossible to avoid assuming that this forced hypermasculinity stems from feelings of inadequacy. “If a fetish is all about being harder and tougher and more aggressive than everyone else, then that is a fetishization of masculinity,” Murray explains. “I think this over-investment in masculine symbols is a hysterical reaction to ward off accusations of effeminacy or not being male enough.”

The irony is, despite all the grunting, Cro-Magnon manliness, most members specify themselves as bottoms. Phil puts the figure at roughly 65 percent, but my own research suggests it might be higher. Scally porn is largely violent and degrading, while Trackies is full of subs looking for someone to dominate them. Throughout my month-long membership, I was inundated with guys looking for beatings, rape, and even kidnappings. Chillingly, one said I could do whatever I want to him, “just as long as I live.” Most guys were too inarticulate to entertain, but there were two I propped intensely, and I even rewarded one by posting him a dirty sock.

The first one wanted me to tie him up and kick him in the balls repeatedly. Perversely, he saw this as an empowering process, rather than an emasculating one, because, “if you can take a kicking to the bollocks and handle the pain without crying, it’s fucking manly.” He’d ask me what sneakers I’d wear, how big my feet are, and wondered, “What’s the worst you’ve done to a lad’s cock and balls?” He told me about his testicles, which he described as “low hangers,” inviting me to use them as a punch bag. The other asked me to round up a group of friends, ideally ones who didn’t know it had been pre-arranged, and assault him somewhere secluded. As we set parameters, he told me: “You can snap my ribs, but don’t break my arms or legs. No permanent damage. I want you to knock me the fuck out. Want to feel you stamp my face in with your Nikes. Just leave me there, smashed up. You ever use knives? You should bring one, just don’t cut me up too bad…”

As I delved into the root of his fantasy, he told me that he was a quiet kid in school who always looked up to the “hard lads,” whose “arrogance” gave them an aura of “invincibility.” “I knew I wasn’t ever going to be a proper lad,” he said, “so I decided I’d be the opposite, come into their circle from below, if that makes sense. Having them do what they want to me is a big turn-on.”

When I asked him why he didn’t go to a fetish club that specializes in domination, he claimed that he’s straight and that they’re “full of proper faggots.” When I pointed out that, although it isn’t penetrative sex, he still derives erotic pleasure from men, our correspondence came to an abrupt end.

It’s logical to equate violent, painful sex with submission and self-harm, but as I discussed the act of trampling with Max Hollman, the organizer of Ladz, the Amsterdam sportswear fetish party, he argued, “Someone might start with trampling but have dominant sex after. It’s difficult to explain to non-fetishists, but the feel or smell of sneakers, the sensation of soles treading against your skin, is a real turn-on.”

I’m reluctant to draw any psychobabble conclusions about the violence and degradation in scally fetishism because, if I’ve learned anything writing this piece, it’s that human sexuality is complex and utterly irrational.

We Have a Winner for Our Dick Insurance Contest!

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After days of scouring our spam box for the entries of contestants who decided to put the word “dick” in the subject line of their emails, we finally have a winner—well, sort of! Because of the overwhelming response to our dick insurance contest, we had a hard time picking just one. Half of the entries were fairly well-written and, at times, even tugged at the ol’ heart strings. The other half, when not sheer garbage, missed the mark because whoever wrote them didn’t even read the rules or was obviously writing from the viewpoint of a fake girlfriend glorifying her man’s pistol because he's mastered some bullshit like the art of female squirting. In the end we decided to give away two prizes, because it seemed like the right thing to do.

The second-place winner is Brian M., who had the most depressing story of all. There was no way he wasn’t going to win something because (no brainer) the poor guy pulled the “I have one ball card,” and only a complete psychopath would ever lie about something that crazy. It was also really fun reading about his T. rex arms and lone ball hitting girls' assholes—we laughed, we may or may not have cried, and we held ourselves in the fetal position for a while after receiving his email. So, Brian, we’re really sorry about your troubles, and we hope the soft free undies can provide some kind of comfort in your life. (Insert cyber hug.) Here is Brian's entry:

1. I had ball cancer 2.5 years ago and neglected to stash sperm prior to removing my right ball, so insuring what’s left is probably very important to mankind, or maybe Monsanto?

2. My insurance company won't cover a fertility test unless I actively try for a year to conceive. I really am hoping I am infertile so I don't need condoms anymore!  But in case I catch something or knock someone up, insurance makes sense, probably.

3. Does the policy cover ball(s)? I only have one left, and when I go on top, missionary-style, not only do my small T. rex arms hurt, but my ball keeps bouncing around assholes, so who knows what it might catch! It usually freaks most girls out.

And, without further ado, our first-place award goes to Jason L., who so selflessly entered on behalf of his buddy who broke his dick not once but twice already! We weren’t totally sure that was even possible, but following one late-night Google search into the dark corners of the internet (where we pray we'll never find ourselves again), we couldn't deny that this guy's shaft is in serious danger. We just couldn’t live with ourselves if Jason's poor friend broke his penis a third time, and so, to Jason and his friend, whoever he is—congratulations! Your throbbing gristle is safe from harm, for now... His email is below:

The dick insurance isn't for me; it's for my best friend, who's broken his dick twice.

1. Having it break once makes it easier for it to happen twice. The first time was with his ex-girlfriend. They were going at it from behind, and it slipped out and cracked, blood everywhere. 


2. The second time was with a girl for her 26th birthday. She didn't go to the hospital with him either; I did. The doctors said he has a chance of doing it again now too, and all of this has cost him a decent amount. 

3. The good that came out of this is that, while it was broken, he met the daughter of a legendary heavy metal bass player. He couldn't sleep with her right away, they got to know each other really well, and now they're dating. But that eerie thought that he's going to break his penis is always lingering in the back of his head. He could really use this insurance; I just want the undz.

Below are a mix of losers and honorable mentions (all entries, very sic).

Kittridge R.:

I gay so I can't easily spawn new dicks to carry my own dicks memory in their hearts hence the need for dick insurance so everyone can remember my dick. Straight dudes can make dicks I can't. 


Moses B.:

I'd kill myself if my wiener ever got ripped off or shot off by Robocop.


M.C. Rhode Island:

I have mastered the art of female squirting and can confidently perform this technique on any woman via penis, oral or finger. (I know women lie, but the hefty dry-cleaning bill for soiled Egyptian cotton bed sheets does not)


Luke W.:

Without my dick, my ability to work would be hindered because I wouldn't be able to have sex with co-workers as a bargaining tool and just generally have trouble concentrating on the task at hand because I'm lacking sex.  I would have to take time off work to build up my other strengths in order to make up for this.

Alex N.:

My massive bush is so uniquely pleasing to the eye that it couldn't possibly exist on its lonesome without my package to accompany it. My ginger locks would look so out of place without my penis in the center that the obvious solution, should my dick be lost in some freak skiing accident or undercover anti-terrorism operation, is to have it replaced with the insurance money. I am not completely up to date on the latest in prosthetic phalli technology, but I am sure that in time the technology will exist to give my penis the loving memorial replica that it deserves, and my bush won't have to be alone.


Hector G.:

Living without a dick is pointless, but $50,000 will truly help my pain, like dat, my dick and my sack.

Mac L.:

I bartend, so between work and my fucked-up personal life based of the path of least resistance - my dick is in the high risk pool. He needs to be covered by something other than latex and the cooch of whoever comes stumbling out of Dirty or Splash bar at 3am.

Maximillian P.:

Because it already is eternally preserved #alone


Andres T.:

My penis looks like a platypus


Dan S.:

My penis is my favorite part of me. Whenever I need to show true approval of any situation- be it a rockin band at a shitty bar, the mailman giving us the correct mail, or when the dog doesn't shit on the rug- I always try to show my appreciation by politely thrusting myself. It is a sign of respect. I find this to be a very valuable component of my personality.


Iran:

I want to say to my friends "Hey that girl can't afford this penis.”


Scott:

My dick already has bite marks in it and its been double sucked.

Anthony S.:

My junk has cost me at least 50,000 dollars in lawyer fees, child support, and clearing my name of crimes I did not commit.


Big Jim:

Since he is affectionately known as the Golden Child, he is a religious and spiritual icon to millions of Eddie Murphy fans.

Robert P.:

I keep my dick in a special container, just like J.P. Pruitt's hand in Zoolander.

Abner J.:

When I was 3, a toilet seat fell on my dick while I was peeing, causing substantial pain and a permanent scar that runs the length of my foreskin. I am a survivor of a penis-related accident but may not be so lucky next time.

Elbert:

I got in a car accident and i have to pay out the ass for it. What would've happened if I accidentally got my dick stuck in the steering wheel again? It would've been a bad day, and taping a dildo to my groin is something I also would not like to happen again.

Philip G.:

I am a ginger and they are becoming more and more scarce throughout the world as the years go on. I am devoted to bringing the ginger population back.

Ivaylo G.:

My ex is crazy and for some reason she's always at the same stores I'm at. It's been happening for a month now and it's definitely not coincidence. I was at the butcher section of jewel a few weekends ago and she came out of nowhere, l looked over and she just gave me this wild stare like "I'm going to sneak into your house and tape your dick to your forehead" if I were to lose my lil friend id be tremendously sad.


Joey D.:

Masturbating to great VICE Magazine naked lady pictures

Patrick K.:

If I ever lost my wiener, the only possible thing that could make up for it, would be cash, so I could have my thumb removed and turned into a weird penis like thing between my legs.

Tim D.:

I have fucked up every aspect of my life so it's only a matter of time before I lose my cock in some dumbass accident.

Matthew S.:

You should insure my penis because, its long, hard, and full of aids.

Gabe C.:

The world makes no fucking sense.

Daniel S.:

I am a mental health therapist working with a population who exhibit the most impulsive behavior related to one's precious bits.  As a therapist rehabilitating juvenile sex offenders, I take young angry, aggressive, hormone raging, sexified boys into a closed office located in the basement of an office building.  No windows, no panic button, and company mandated no use of restraints when clients are aggressive towards you.  I am not saying my clients are dangerous but their behaviors can be impulsive.  Thus, I am not only putting myself in jeopardy, I am placing my penis in jeopardy everyday.

Ben G.:

I went out to a karaoke bar once (run by a bunch of Asians, of course) for a friend's birthday...NEVER AGAIN. See, on this particular night, I accidentally forgot to wear a belt. As I was jamming out on stage to Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba," my pants dropped to my knees. I didn't think much of it, but it turned out my penis was peeking through the hole of my boxers. One of the Asian chefs caught sight of this, assumed that I was trying to smuggle jumbo shrimp out of his fine establishment, and immediately grabbed a meat cleaver. Crazy bastard chased me around the room for a solid 7 minutes before I had to perform unmentionable acts just to prove there was no shrimp in my undies, just merely my penis.

Crooked Conduct

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Highland jacket, Rascals top; aNYthing Jacket, the Good Co. sweatshirt

PHOTOS BY BOBBY VITERI
STYLIST: MIYAKO BELLIZZI

Nails: Holly Lynn-Falcone
Models: Nathaniel Matthews, Joe Rushe, and Holly Lynn-Falcone

Alife top, Supreme T-shirt, vintage necklaces; Jack Henry top, Fred Perry pants, vintage necklace

Alife sweatsuit, New Balance shoes, Highland backpack, vintage necklaces; Folk top, Fuct shorts, Uniqlo socks, Pony shoes, vintage necklace

Vintage lingerie, vintage tights, YSL shoes, vintage jewelry; Hanes top, Uniqlo underwear and socks, vintage shoes, vintage necklace

Supreme top, vintage necklace; Fuct top, vintage necklaces

Officine Generale Jacket, Fred Perry top, vintage pins

Rascals top, the Good Co. T-shirt, Uniqlo pants, vintage necklace and bracelet; Fred Perry cardigan, Folk top, Fuct pants

Hanes top, vintage necklace; Rascals top, Hanes tank, vintage necklace

KTOO top and skirt, vintage jewelry and belt; Alife jacket, vintage bracelet; Fersher jacket


Tidbits: Cam'ron's Clothing Line Is Exactly What You'd Expect, and Model Walk-Off Is Fashion's Octagon

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While we at VICE toil to bring you stories about prostitute-managed fashion labels in São Paulo, transvestites wearing bikinis made out of rats, Japanese kids who inject bagels into their faces, and photo shoots set in suburban tower blocks in Russia, deep down we know that, really, all you want is fashion's TL;DR. That's why we created Tidbits, a regular column that aggregates the dumbest, weirdest, and funniest stuff we see, watch, hear, or read in the fashion part of the internet.

DOPESET!

Killa Cam (a.k.a. the best member of Dipset) released a collaboration with LA streetwear label Dope today. While the small line of basic black tees and caps is nowhere near as impressive as his new cape collection with Mark McNairy, at least the designs are not so obnoxious that you can’t find a way to wear them on the day-to-day. Which is especially great if you have the balls to wear a shirt with the phrase “YO I ADVISE YOU TO STEP SON FORE I FUCK YOUR MOMS MAKE YOU MY STEP SON” sprawled out on the chest. We expect all the hypebeasters to bust a nut over this collection, which is online at the Dope store for the next 24 hours—so go on an’ git it now. Or if you’re in LA, stop by Dope Fairfax today from 3 to 4 PM to see Cam in person. We expect to receive pics of Juju’s butt at fashion@vice.com tomorrow in return for letting you know about today’s event.

R.I.P. L'WREN SCOTT

L'Wren Scott, New York fashion designer and beau of Mick Jagger, was found dead on Monday in her home on the West Side of Manhattan. Her body was found hanging by a scarf by the 49-year-old's assistant, who just an hour and a half before had been instructed to meet her at the apartment. Her death has been ruled a suicide. News of her passing came as a shock and just weeks after she mysteriously called off her fall/winter 2014 runway show due to "production problems." But this morning the reason behind her sudden cancelation became clear, as it was revealed that the designer was $7 million in debt at the time of her passing. It's a shame to have lost a legend like L'Wren Scott—watching the orgy scene in Eyes Wide Shut will now not only be creepy and uncomfortably erotic but also insanely depressing, as we'll forever be forced to remember that the world not only lost a great designer but an amazing wardrobe stylist as well. R.I.P.

IT’S A WALK-OFF

This week, Style.com launched Model Walk-Off, an online video poll that allows fashionistas to vote for which of two really skinny bitches walked down the runway best. On March 28, after each round has been tallied, the top walkers will go head-to-head in order to win something—we’re not entirely sure what they’ll win if anything tangible at all, but we have some pretty strong theories. Option one: They receive the right to call themselves “THE BEST MODEL IN THE WORLD." Option two: The winner receives a really great gift like some wildly expensive leg-and-foot butter made of decadent items such as whale sperm and blood diamonds. Or, option three, our favorite scenario: They get the opportunity to enter the Thunderdome with the OG catwalk queen, Naomi Campbell; they fight to the death, and that horse-stompin' diva wins. Two enter; only Naomi leaves!

Nick Selfie

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Marshall's bra, thong, heel, and hat, Ray-Ban glasses, vintage top, vintage pants, Uniqlo socks, vintage belt 

PHOTOS BY NICK SETHI
STYLIST: Miyako Bellizzi

Vintage jacket, Mark McNairy overalls, Nike shoes, vintage hat and facemask, Ray-Ban glasses

Adidas X Opening Ceremony top and skirt, Uniqlo socks, vintage hat, Ray-Ban glasses, Mordekai necklace, vintage boxing gloves

Ray-Ban glasses, I Still Love You NYC necklace

H0les goggles, Shadowplaynyc swimsuit, Uniqlo socks

Supreme hat and glasses

Ray-Ban glasses, Shadowplaynyc suimsuit

Ray-Ban glasses, Zana Bayne harness, Uniqlo socks, Bond Hardware mouth guard 

Ray-Ban glasses, Uniqlo socks, Chanel bag

Liquid Lapdance underwear

 

 

Colin Self Is the Embodiment of Queer Theory

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I first got to know Colin Self in the dark of a West Village club—then by the light of my laptop. Self is a nightlife impresario. A vision in plum lipstick, the Laura Dern look-alike is perhaps best known as member of the New York-based drag supergroup Chez Deep. Beyond the drag stage, Colin is also a musician, party host, and DJ (at Eckhaus Latta’s défilé this New York Fashion Week, he sensuously spun self-help recordings into Orbital and Prince), as well as a video artist, community organizer, and social activist. Like a proper digital native (b. 1987), Colin anchors all this online—his Twitter is divine.

Colin is a modern-day role model. An embodiment of queer theory, Colin, in everything he does (whether that’s fundraising for his Radical Diva Grant or wailing in micromesh at the club), is a testament to the individual’s potential to be himself, herself, or themselves. While Colin takes sex-positive pleasure in his “ultimately male body,” he also identifies with all genders: “man, woman, whatever—I’m also an alien and a witch and a celestial spirit.” His interest is in the trying-on of new modes of being.

Through all of his manifold practices, Colin seeks to foster open-mindedness in the individual while “creating spaces for individuals to engage in open dialogue.” His goal with projects like his annual Next Time Symposium, a multi-day salon on drag arts, performance, and politics, is to show that, just as femininity can be put on and taken off with a touch of lipstick, so too can ideas.

On the afternoon I met Colin Self, at his three-floor shared space in deep Bushwick, he didn’t feel like wearing lipstick. He put it on and then wiped it off, staining his rosebud mouth. Wigs didn’t suit his mood either. He dressed, instead, in plain muslin overalls for the house tour and a Thierry Mugler blazer—which he described as “officious"—for the interview. Beneath a monster Jon Rafman on the wall and a stick-bug tree house, we talked about performance, queer pop culture, and how Colin came to be himself.

VICE: Is Colin Self your real name?
Colin Self: It is! And I’m so grateful for it. I’m always thinking, like, thank you, Dad! It works on so many levels: selfies, self-care, self-actualization...

They call that an aptronym—when someone’s name is apt for them. Where are you from?
I grew up in Aloha, Oregon, which is on the edge of the suburbs in the forest between Portland and the Oregon Coast. My dad is a composer and an engineer, and my mom started a music school when I was really young. I have three sisters—two older, one younger—who are all really crazy. I grew up in a house very dominated by the women and their energy.

How did you end up in New York doing performance?
I remember going to this Sleater-Kinney concert when I was 14 and seeing these girls wail on their guitars and thrash about, and I said to my friend, “This is what I'm going to do with my life.” I was also really inspired by Riot grrl—that’s how I ended up going to college in Olympia. There, I met all these amazing female performers who were using performance to enact ideas of affect and mysticism to transform spaces and people. They became my mentors. Eventually, I moved to Chicago to finish school, and after school, I moved to New York. That was in 2010.

When did you start performing with Chez Deep?
Chez Deep started in 2012. We—Sam Banks, Hari Nef, Alexis Penney, Bailey Stiles, and myself—started as a “drag supergroup,” but we've transformed into something else. We're more like an art collective than a performance troupe now. We came together as a group of futuristic androgynous performers who had fragmented participation in gender variation. We’re all cyborgs, aliens, witches, transmutants, and hybrid creatures, all working towards demonstrations of self-care and care for others through several mediums: drag, but also monologues, dance, singing, writing, curating. For the next year, we’re mostly going to be working on videos together.

Where did the name come from?
It actually comes from a misinterpretation of my friend Jamie’s Twitter handle, @twobitchesdeep. One of the members of my group initially misread it as two-bit chez deep. He thought “chez deep” was a really cute name, and we ended up choosing it because that’s actually what we are—deep house, a place of depth, of internal/eternal expansive consciousness, of goddess worship, all that stuff.

It was your Twitter presence that convinced me I had to interview you. You’re such an anomaly on my feed, which is full of feminist call-outs, miscellaneous self-promotion, and cultural commentary. Among all that chaos, you’ll pop up, saying something mindful and serene—you’re like the eye of the storm.
Twitter feeds are dangerous. You have to be careful what you read. I just try to post ideas that are helping me understand myself and how to operate in the world. Mantras, prayers, affirmations—there’s a need for those to counteract all the chaos and hysteria and complaining. We are in a dark place with this kind of social commentary—it’s almost like a black magic. Language is the most ancient form of magic, and so many of us have forgotten that we are creating things with our language. Right now, we’re experiencing a global hypnosis that I call “Kardashianism.”

What’s that?
Kardashianism refers to the worshiping of and desire for blind wealth and beauty. The Kardashians are a group of beautiful, wealthy women who, other than promote their wealth and beauty, don’t do anything, and yet it seems like everyone I know is praising the them as demigods. Don’t get me wrong: Kim Kardashian is beautiful. Her body is flawless. But our obsession with US Weekly, Perez Hilton, and the like detracts from focusing on ourselves and our community. It's escapism, and it’s infectious.

One of my favorite all-time tweets of yours was, “If you’re not queer, you’re not paying attention.” Queerness is trending right now. Mykki Blanco is a new idol. Rupaul’s Drag Race is in its sixth season. Last year, we were introduced to Chelsea Manning and Laverne Cox. There’s even a petition to get Carmen Carrera to be the next Victoria’s Secret Angel. Even Miley Cyrus is styled so gay. What do you think about this new queer mainstream?
It's so crazy! I mean, gay, drag, and trans histories have varied stories and positions. With trans, for instance, the world is becoming a little more trans-aware, but the trans scale is so wide, and what the media is getting is only this tiny part of it, which is better than nothing at all, but the fraction shouldn’t be mistaken for the whole. And Rupaul’s Drag Race is fun, but why does the title of "America’s Next Drag Superstar" mean that you go on a world tour promoting vodka, get $100,000 cash, and then you don’t do shit? That says nothing about our world or the trans world around me. It was really frustrating to see drag become so aestheticized and fetishized, but without the struggle or community aspect, without the knowledge of how much homophobic and transphobic violence there still is in the world, even in New York City. There are so many people in America who watch Rupaul's Drag Race but who could never sit down and talk to a queer or trans person about firsthand experience.

What do you think about so-called homonormativity and the pursuit of a more traditional or domestic gay life through institutions like marriage?
I think it’s wonderful. Personally, gay marriage is not a priority, but I definitely believe anyone should be able to love and marry who or whatever they want. Or not. Variety is good. Any queer person who’s fighting for all queer people to be the same is working against themselves.

Editor's Note: An earlier version of this article misspelled the name of Laverne Cox and, has since, been updated to reflect the proper spelling.

Scough, the Germ-Fighting Scarf, Makes Preventative Healthcare Wearable

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Scough, the Germ-Fighting Scarf, Makes Preventative Healthcare Wearable

Tidbits: Vivienne Westwood Takes Her Clothes Off, and Jon Snow for Jimmy Choo

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While we at VICE toil to bring you stories about prostitute-managed fashion labels in São Paulo, transvestites wearing bikinis made out of rats, Japanese kids who inject bagels into their faces, and photo shoots set in suburban tower blocks in Russia, deep down we know that, really, all you want is fashion's TL;DR. That's why we created Tidbits, a regular column that aggregates the dumbest, weirdest, and funniest stuff we see, watch, hear, or read in the fashion part of the internet.

BIANCA CHANDÔN

Alex Olson, aside from being one of the best current skaters, has some very strong convictions that tend to break the skater mold. He’s really into dance music, dresses like most peoples' dads in the 70s, and generally doesn’t seem to give a shit about what anyone thinks—that's a really good character trait to have if you’re going to be a clothing designer, which Alex is now. Last February he finally revealed the name of his clothing line, Bianca Chandôn, which at first sounds more like the name of a Nicaraguan socialite or party promoter at Studio 54 than a label, but who’s to judge? For months he had been promoting the brand as a cryptic New York phone number: (917) 692-2706. For now the line just consists of nice shirts, sweatshirts, and the occasional skateboard, but there are plans to venture into other types of apparel. You can snag the newest release on the company's website, but good luck getting your hands on any of it because it’s selling out immediately—once pieces are gone, they’re gone. Thankfully they’ve been releasing all new designs every few weeks. The most recent drop was this week, so if you’ve ever wanted a tee that says “Hot = Dance / Slow = Love” or you really like the band Suede, save yourself the heartache and head over to the store now.

JON SNOW FOR JIMMY CHOO

Kit Harington, a.k.a. Jon Snow on the hit HBO show Game of Thrones, is, in a nutshell, every man’s man. Well at least he is “the man” according to 99 percent of people who are into the fantastic TV program, whose premise centers on incest, dragons, and a little person who is addicted to hookers, among other things. Jon is the ultimate man, because he’s the bastard son of Eddard Stark, and as a result of his daddy issues, he has developed major sword skills and is really good at killing everything. Also, since he’s such a bad boy, broken and unloved, the first time he ever went down on a girl he made her come right away. This probably sounds like a hot load of bullshit, but these are the main reasons why girls want to bone him and guys think he's a boss—and not just dorks who sit at home jerking off as they talk to magical elves in RPG games. Everyone gets down with Game of Thrones. It’s basically like True Blood for men, but with fewer naked male asses and more dirty whores who are D.T.F. Due to the aforementioned points, it was no surprise to hear that Jimmy Choo chose Kit as the face of their new men’s line. It’ll be strange to see Jon parading around in fancy shmancy shoes and carrying man purses, but the collection will probably be a success. At least one can only hope. We’ll have to wait until the next Comic Con to find out if die-hard fantasy fans finally stop dressing like creeps.

VIVIENNE WESTWOOD TAKES HER CLOTHES OFF

Seeing Vivienne Westwood in the shower is right at the top of our list of things we thought we’d never live to see, and now that we have, we can genuinely say that it wasn’t traumatizing in the least! As a promo for World Water Day on March 22, the eco-warrior designer stripped down to nothing and filmed herself in a fairly impressive bathroom, as she showered and schooled viewers on the importance of water conservation and how vegetarianism benefits the environment. But it wasn’t in the aggressive fuck-you-meat-eaters kind of way one might normally associate with PETA. Our founding mother of punk got her point across in such a tender and loving manner that even the biggest carnivores would second guess their animal style after watching the video. Also, we couldn’t help but notice that she looked incredibly soft and huggable—we wanted to reach out to touch her. After watching this, it's not hard to see Vivienne as an adorable grandma figure—you know, the one you aspire to live up to someday but never do.

Weediquette: T. Kid's Favorite Sneakers

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Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

I’ve loved sneakers since I was a toddler. Jootiyan, the Urdu word for footwear, was one of my first words, according to my mother. She said I insisted I wear shoes at all times, and once showed me several baby photos of me wearing nothing but little blue low-top sneakers, as I ran around the house smacking fixtures with a hairbrush. My mother indulged my sneaker obsession when I wore baby sizes, but once I grew older and more demanding, she reined it in. When I was eight, I began attending a Catholic school where we had to wear uniforms—navy pants and white button-up shirts. There was no restriction on footwear, so shoes were the only way to look fly, and competition was tight. I begged my mom for a pair of the newly released Jordan VIII. “All the other kids’ parents get them nice sneakers, because they know how important it is to look cool,” I complained. She shot back, “Those parents buy their kids expensive things to make up for not spending time with them, and they secretly hate themselves. Do you want me to hate myself?” She was hard to argue with. Instead of the Jordan shoes, my mom got me a pair of plain low-top sneakers similar to the ones I wore in my baby pictures. At first I hated them. Compared to the other kids’ bulky, multi-paneled basketball shoes, my sneakers were meager. My shoes gave my peers a new reason to scorn me. I was already a pretty weird kid, and my weak sneaker game only brought me more negative attention.

When I was alone, I found a way to appreciate my lame shoes. They kept my feet out of trouble when I was exploring in the woods or playing at an unattended construction site. I would sit on the curb and pull nails and bits of glass out of the soles, as I thought, That could have been in my foot. My mom noticed how beaten up my shoes had gotten and told me it was time for new shoes. She questioned me when I didn’t look excited. I told her, “I know I said I didn’t like them, but now I do. Sure, they’re not as cool as the Jordan VIII sneakers, but they’re mine. I’ve done a lot of stuff with them.” My love for my shoes moved her. She smiled, pulled me in for a hug, and then said, “That’s sweet, but seriously, those are disgusting. You’re getting new shoes.”

My next pair of sneakers was different—they were what was on sale at the store. Shoes came and went, but none of them felt as special as the blue low-tops. Years later, after we had left Thailand for the US, I came upon the same pair of sneakers. This time they were in adult sizes. I was a sophomore in high school, and I was still relatively new to smoking weed. My friends and I went on a blunt drive to the local mall. We were wandering around when I spotted the sneakers. I spent the last of my allowance on them and walked out of the store wearing them. I couldn’t believe that my beloved childhood kicks had re-entered my life. It felt like fate.

Later that evening, we went to hang out with a kid named Eric. He was kind of a nut job, but he had a bunch of weed and was happy to smoke us out if we came to his house. As we were walking across the lawn, he opened his front door. His dog bolted out from behind him and immediately attacked my shoes. Eric yelled, “Roxy! Get back here!” and then she left me alone. When we walked into Eric’s house, we heard his mom scream at him about letting the dog out. He rudely responded to her, and they started arguing, making my friends and me a bit uncomfortable. We ignored the argument and went upstairs to Eric’s room. He walked in after us and shut the door, muting some more screams from his mom. Eric sat down and made chitchat with us as he rolled a joint. The room was incredibly messy. I quickly noticed a gross smell. I glanced at my friends and saw that they had smelt the same scent. Eric’s mom’s screams grew louder, so Eric left the room to argue with her some more. As soon as he walked out, my friend said what we were all thinking: “Why does it smell like shit in here?” We looked around the room for a possible source. Eric began stomping back up the stairs, so we stopped talking. He walked in, shut the door, and winced. “Damn,” he said, “that is one nasty fart. Who was that?” We all looked at each other as Eric opened the window. He laughed. “Someone better claim that one. That’s a champion.”

He went back to rolling the joint for about 30 seconds before looking up and wincing again. “Seriously. Why is that fart not going away?” He eyed each of us. One of my friends said, “Hey man, it’s not us. It’s probably something in here.” My friend had upset Eric. “My room doesn’t smell like shit! I think I would have noticed it before! It’s definitely one of you. Check the bottoms of your shoes.” At his request, I lifted my brand new blue low-top sneakers off of his carpet, revealing a massive wad of dog shit. I was amazed that I hadn’t noticed it before—it was large enough to make me walk lopsided. Eric screamed and lunged at me. In one fluid motion, he snatched the shoe off my foot and flung it out the window into the woods behind his house. Screaming, he pointed at a line of shit tracks that I left in his room. He followed the tracks out of the room, raging loudly all the way down the stairs. We all followed him. I saw the aftermath my sneakers had wrought all over his house. Eric’s screaming prompted his mom to begin screaming again. Her screams started to get closer and then stopped for a moment as soon as she entered the room. Horrified, she surveyed the damage. She exploded. “Why is there shit all over my house?” she screamed. She was loud enough to scare us all right out the front door. “You guys should get the fuck out of here!” Eric yelled after us, as if we weren’t running fast enough.

My friends and I jumped into the car, but I wasn’t ready to go. “I have to get that shoe back,” I told the guys. They told me I was crazy, but I knew I was meant to wear them. “If it wasn’t for that shoe, that shit would be all over my sock right now,” I said. My friends were dumbfounded. I ran out of the car and snuck along the side of Eric’s house. Through some miracle, I found the shoe stuck in a bush right by the edge of the woods. I grabbed it and ran back to the car. My friend wouldn’t unlock the door. He rolled down his window and said, “There’s no way in hell you’re bringing that shitty shoe into the car.” He was my only ride home, but I backed away from the car and sat down on the curb. I grabbed a stick and started scraping the shit off my shoe. Right then, Eric popped out of his front door and yelled, “You’re still here?” This startled us. “Throw it in the trunk,” my friend said. “Let’s get the fuck out of here!”

After thoroughly cleaning the shoe, I wore the low-tops until they were completely destroyed, and then I wore them some more. I loved them even more than my previous pair. I’ve piled up a lot of sneakers since then, but you can always catch me in a pair of low-top sneakers like the ones I had as a kid. 

Follow T. Kid on Twitter.

What Actually Happens to Donated Clothes?

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For Adam Baruchowitz, every t-shirt tells a story—whether or not he wants to hear it.

“People want to explain to you every item, like ‘this is the shirt I lost my virginity in,’” said the 41-year-old founder of Wearable Collections, a Brooklyn-based textile recycling company that retrieved more than 2 million pounds of synthetic rompers, snapback hats, and skinny jeans from New York dorm rooms, apartment buildings, and green markets last year. “People have really close association with their clothing. But when the cycle is done, we’re going to help give it another life.”

That new life, like the life of most clothes “donated” in the United States, bears little resemblance to its previous owner’s, nor what its previous owner’s imagines. Of the roughly 2 million tons of used clothing Americans recycle each year, less than half is ever worn again: 30 percent is cut up for use as industrial rags, and another 20 percent is shredded for couch stuffing and home insulation. Those clothes that continue as clothes — some 860,000 tons valued at nearly $700 million a year, according to the Department of Commerce — are next worn in Phnom Penh, Cambodia or Mombasa, Kenya.

All of which makes recyclers like Adam and his ilk a comfortable, if highly competitive living.

“They always get villainized every time people find out they make a profit from what they do,” Elizabeth Cline, journalist and author of the fast-fashion expose Overdressed, told me.“It’s a funny little conundrum, because all recycling is for profit—as it should be. Otherwise, it probably wouldn't exist.”

Unlike glass and aluminum recycling, which has only been in vogue for the past 40 years, the rag trade has been making American recyclers rich for more than a century. But a new crop of competitors—young upstarts like Adam and old-school scrappers like the Gromans of SpinGreen in Sheepshead Bay, along with quasi-legal operations like New Jersey’s omnipresent Viltex—are stirring up the schmatta business in New York City, where it ranks among the most cut-throat and least regulated industries around.

“This is one of the dirtiest businesses I’ve ever seen,” said recycler Eliot Groman, an ex-Soviet immigrant who sold the used cooking oil processing business he built with his wife Polina to get into the rag trade. “People set fire to the bins, they climb into the bins.”

Other bins just vanish.

“A bin is an ATM; it’s like a reverse ATM,” Adam said. “There’s are reasons people drop these bins all around. They can be lifted with forklifts. It’s very territorial.”

I asked Eliot which laws govern his year-old company and others like it. He scoffed.

“It’s like the Wild West,” he said. “There’s only one law that basically says that you have to put [collection bins] on private property, and that’s it.”

Even that rule, Local Law 31, gets little respect. The City’s Department of Sanitation was called to collect about 70 illegal bins since July 2012, and virtually none before that.

What makes the bins illegal is their wanton placement on public property, not their profit margins. But in New York, as in scores of municipalities across the country, the sudden realization that old clothes are being collected for industry rather than altruism is what has people up in arms.

“A lot of people aren’t aware that textile recycling exists or that 95 percent of clothing and textiles can be recycled,” said Jackie King, executive director of the Secondary Materials and Recycled Textiles association, which represents recyclers across North America and has recently begun fighting back against proposed bans. “A ban on for-profit bins, that doesn’t help the situation from a collection standpoint for keeping this material out of the landfill.”

Recycled textiles are still barely a drip compared to other consumer goods diverted from the waste stream: Americans recycle about 95 percent of batteries, 70 percent of newspapers and more than 50 percent of aluminum cans, yet, 85 percent of old clothes end up in the trash, a full 5 percent of the country’s annual waste.

The reason, many say, is public perception.

“Americans go around operating under the assumption that there are still all these poor underdressed people in America who desperately need our castoff clothing,” when in reality, “we are drowning in our own textile waste,” Cline said. “It can’t all possibly be reused here and it can’t all continue on as clothing. People have to think about how much they’re buying.”

She said the industry itself is often complicit in the problem.

“These companies are private and they’re very secretive,” she said. “It’s just this really old-school industry that doesn’t have a lot of interaction with the public and it needs to be overhauled.”

The rag-traders agreed.

“It’s been a very underground market,” Adam said. “They have these really strong operations going already, so they don’t necessarily benefit from the higher profile of the industry.”

Although he and others are upfront about their for-profit status, many would-be donors are aghast to learn still where their goods are really going.

“I’m not going into your closet and stealing your clothes,” Adam said.  “We never were a not-for-profit, but the perception of this world is that it’s nonprofit, and you're always giving to nonprofits.”

That argument elides the fact that established thrift-store charities like Goodwill and Salvation Army retail only a tiny fraction of the donations they collect, selling 80 percent “out the back door” to recyclers. The Department of Sanitation’s nascent textile recycling program has diverted castoff clothes to the charity Housing Works, but the nonprofit relies on industrial for-profit recyclers to dispose of the excess.

“It’s too expensive for them. The only way [municipalities like New York] can do it is for a private entity to do it,” Eliot said. “We don’t pretend to be a charity.”

Like panty girdles and JNCO jeans, the donation model may simply have outlived its era.

“Disposable clothing is a reality,” Cline said. “Why can’t [collectors] just say, ‘recycle your clothing here?’” 

Follow Sonja Sharp on Twitter.


Blue Movie

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PHOTOS BY DAN WILTON
ART DIRECTOR: TOBY EVANS
STYLIST: KYLIE GRIFFITHS

Hair and make-up: Francesca Morris at The Lounge
Models: Nienke Van Der Peet, Charlotte Quita Jones and Mie Anderson at Models 1, Matthew Waer and Jo Parker at MODE London
Sets: Stuart Plant
Photo assistant: Bradley Lloyds Barnes
Stylist assistant: Thomas Ramshaw

Jacket from Rokit, Topman necklace

Vest from Blitz Vintage, Almeida knickers

Shirt from Rokit, Erin Wilson waistcoat

Freya bra and knickers, Lyle and Scott shirt, Duchamp trousers

Tidbits: Some Norwegian Kid Got a Shitty McDonald's Tattoo and Lady Gaga Wore Something Stupid as Usual

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While we at VICE toil to bring you stories about prostitute-managed fashion labels in São Paulo, transvestites wearing bikinis made out of rats, Japanese kids who inject bagels into their faces, and photo shoots set in suburban tower blocks in Russia, deep down we know that, really, all you want is fashion's TL;DR. That's why we created Tidbits, a regular column that aggregates the dumbest, weirdest, and funniest stuff we see, watch, hear, or read in the fashion part of the internet.

WILLIAM STROBECK’S FILM FOR SUPREME IS FINALLY ONLINE

Cherry, the first full-length skate film for Supreme by longtime VICE buddy William Strobeck is finally out on DVD. The epic 40-minute video by our favorite skate videographer features legends like Jason Dill and Mark Gonzales along with the likes of Dylan Rieder, Alex Olson, and our new loves Sage Elsesser, Nakel Smith, Tyshawn Jones, Sean Pablo, and Kevin Bradley. Even if you’ve never seen a skate video before and are so retarded you don’t know the difference between a wall ride and an ollie it’s undeniable that Bill’s video is a masterful piece of art worth taking the time (and money) to watch and not just because of the beautiful black and white cinematography and impeccably curated soundtrack. Plus you get to see Dylan Rieder skating topless to INXS’ “Never Tear Us Apart.” So there’s that. Just don’t be a knob and try to watch the video illegally online—you can buy it on iTunes for $12.99 or order it from Supreme online for $20 + receive a massive free poster with purchase. It’s definitely worth it. Support the youth!

LADY GAGA’S LATEST DUMB COSTUME SPARKS WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT

Your typical celebrity “off duty” attire in New York City generally consists of a basic T-shirt, a pair of worn in jeans, some crappy old sneakers, big black-out shades, and a baseball cap. That is, unless you're Lady Gaga who is a complete narcissist. This past Saturday in true Gaga fashion, the pop singer was spotted shopping around the city wearing a lot of really crazy clothing made by some designer we don’t care to know anything about. For a second there we thought we might actually have something in common with the star—I have also fantasized about singing inside of a Doritos vending machine. But then she goes and has a girl vomit on her on stage and walks outside carrying a Birkin dressed like a mentally challenged demon and expects people to respect her for it? She needs to chill. But more importantly, thumbs down to media outlets like Elle who, in very poor taste, cracked a joke about Gaga hypothetically trying to join a Gwar tribute band by donning this nonsense. Dave Brockie, the band's founder and lead singer was sadly found dead no more than 24 hours before the comment was made—Oderus Urungus was a true innovator so shame on you for attempting to be facetious in the midst of such a tragedy!

APPARENTLY WOMEN DRESS REALLY WELL ON MONDAYS AND LIKE TRASH THE REST OF THE WEEK

Photo courtesy of She Knows

Everyone’s favorite questionable news source, the Daily Mail, conducted a survey in which they found that most women dressed their best for work on Mondays. According to their findings, 74 percent of women put the most effort into their looks at the beginning of the week. Each day after, females gradually began looking shittier and stopped caring about their appearance and blah blah blah—honestly, who comes up with this crap? From the second I started reading the article it sounded like a huge load of fluff, but as I got to the end of the piece we felt confident in our conclusion that this social survey must be made up because they also bizarrely claimed that on Thursday 70 percent of women planned their outfits out the night before because that was, on average, the night they liked to have after work drinks. We’re not sure who these sad women who clearly have no lives are or what they do but we imagine they’re mostly single, sexually frigid, fashionistas who have to resort to Tinder to get laid. They also take a hell of a lot of mirror selfies and tag all their Instagram pics as #OOTD. Gross.

SOMEWHAT AMATEUR THIEVES SUCCESSFULLY ROB COLETTE

This past weekend popular Parisian boutique Colette was robbed by some of the wackest thieves in the entire history of thievery.  At around 10 AM on a Saturday morning two guys in ski masks held up six employees and one security guard with an axe and a shotgun and then proceeded to steal a bunch of watches estimated at around $17,000 each. Even though they made out with close to $830,000 and got away with it, they could have taken so much more! The most interesting bit about this heist is that they had the shittiest getaway vehicle of all time—a plastic scooter with a fake license plate. This might sound impressive, but to anyone who knows how expensive the store actually is, I'm not impressed. Whether this robbery is related to any of the recent hold ups near the Place Vendôme is still unclear.

DUMB KID IN NORWAY GOT A MCDONALD’S RECEIPT TATTOOED ON HIS ARM

Normally when you start ditching your friends because you’re more concerned with going out and getting laid they give you a lot of shit via passive aggressive text messages and eventually stop calling you to chill. But in Norway kids aren’t cut from the same cloth—if you’re found to be chasing babes more than partaking in quality bro time your friends will punish you by forcing you to do something irrationally senseless like getting a tattoo of your own butt, a Barbie doll, or even a McDonald’s receipt and 18-year-old Stian Ytterdahl decided that the latter was best. While we commend him for his bravery and having the cojones not to chicken out when faced with this brash act of discipline (that probably never actually occurred in the first place), we think he definitely screwed up big time. He should have just gotten his own ass tattooed on his body so one day he can turn it into a nice pair of tits on a bomb curvy pin-up girl. But whatever, to each his own. Have fun growing old with your lame ass extra toppings receipt kiddo.

RUMOR HAS IT STUDENTS IN NORTH KOREA ARE NOW REQUIRED TO GET THEIR LEADER’S SHITTY HAIRCUT

One of the most reblogged fashion stories this week was a piece from BBC regarding the rumored mandatory hair laws in North Korea requiring all male university students to sport the same ‘do as the great successor Kim Jong-un. The Pyongyang issued sanctions, which apparently went into effect two weeks ago, were initially reported by Radio Free Asia but have yet to be confirmed as true. However, North Korean experts and recent visitors to the country question if these new guidelines are merely a work of fiction. Although the government has been very open about their distaste for long hair on men back in 2005 (even airing a five-part TV series about the detrimental effects of long hair on human intelligence development) it’s unlikely a law as superficial as this one would be enforced. North Korea’s rulers have only gone far enough to suggest or encourage certain hairstyles but as of now no one has been thrown in jail or shot for looking like a scruff—at least not that we know of... So far all we can be sure of is that if this rule is actually put into effect it won’t be welcomed by its citizens with open arms. The haircut, frequently referred to as the “Chinese smuggler” is not a exactly a national favorite, with one source claiming,  “Our leader's haircut is very particular, if you will. It doesn't always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes." Which really just sounds like a nice way of saying, “this haircut is for fat people with massive domes.”

ANJA RUBIK STARRED IN A REALLY WEIRD VIDEO

Since the early days of MTV supermodels have been starring in music videos. Like Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington and Cindy Crawford in George Michael’s, “Freedom 90”, or Stephanie Seymour in Guns N’ Roses’, “November Rain” these videos helped launch the fashion industry superstars into a whole new realm of stardom that made them household names. We’re not sure if Anja Rubik, Vogue favorite and modern day fashion show closer, was hoping for this same kind of popularity boost, but starring in Mister D.’s “Chleb” definitely isn’t going to do all that much for her except help her amass a gigantic stoner following. The video, directed by Krzysztof Skonieczny, for Polish award-winning writer and journalist Dorota Masłowska (Mister D). is in English called “Bread” and features Rubik along with a number of other unusual characters in one surreal situation after another. There are little kids dressed as strawberries climbing out of dumpsters, old ladies falling out of wheelchairs, bald guys burping up fire, and Anja seductively pouring flour all over her body riding bareback on a dachshund. So the next time you’re in a late night YouTube k-hole and your friend says “Hey, you wanna see something weird?” you can finally say, “Naw, fuck whatever you’ve got. I’ve got something way better.”

Talking to Girls About the Good Ol' Number-Two Taboo

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Manna wears Ann-Sofie Back neon jacket, Diesel sweatpants, Dr. Martens vintage shoes.

PHOTOS BY FELIX SWENSSON
STYLIST: SARA BROLIN
WORDS BY CAISA EDERYD

Special thanks to Ibeyo, Lydmar Hotel, Rolfs Kök, Nosh & Chow, Summit, Marie Laveau, Joel Sundqvist, Femi Frykberg & Titiyo, Hugo Rückert, the Hård Family
 

The toilet taboo is a widespread Western phenomenon—especially among girls. But the fact that girls take a dump less frequently than boys do is actually a danger to their health. More than 60 percent of women suffer from stomach problems directly caused by avoiding the bowl, according to a report released last year by Swedish scientists. If these issues get too severe, you might eventually end up with rectal cancer. To highlight this, we asked some girls (and boys) how they feel about the good ol' number-two taboo.
 

American Apparel bra, American Apparel denim shorts, shoes from Vans

Sindy: I’m cool talking about my toilet habits with friends. I even talk with my boyfriend. I actually just did take a dump, and my boyfriend’s in bed just in front of the bathroom door, so he knows I’m in here. I just turn on the tap and do my thing. But the water needs to be running. If the tap doesn’t work I won’t do it. That’s my cover-up.
 

Beyond Retro kimono

Amanda: I've realized after saying certain things that I’m more comfortable talking about poop than most people are. But I’m not so cool with taking a dump outside. I’ll pee anywhere, though. I’d probably be uncomfortable if my partner didn’t poop. My tip is to turn really loud music on while you’re at it.
 

American Apparel bodysuit, Beyond Retro trousers, shoes from Eytys

Sara: The weirdest place I’ve taken a dump at is either when I’ve been at some festival in some bush with loads of tents surrounding me or, when I was younger, I liked to poop as I was hanging off that pole you tie your boat around on a pier. I grabbed the pole, put my bum out, and hung over the water. My best friend and I used to do that together, but that was a pretty long time ago. And once I sat in the lap of my boyfriend when he was doing it. I guess you can say I’m pretty open about it.
 

Beyond Retro top, Hospital panties, Adidas socks

Peter: I think it’s rather abnormal for girls to pretend that they don’t do number two. But I have noticed that girls avoid doing it until much later when they’ve eventually dared to tell me. I’m the same, which is pretty silly really. Just do it!

Amanda: I’m comfortable talking about my toilet habits with my friends, but I wouldn’t talk about them with a guy unless we were in a really tight and good relationship. I don’t really have much to say about it to be honest.
 

Ivo wears American Apparel tank top, Reebok trainers; Manna wears V Avenue Shoe Repair top, American Apparel underwear, shoes from Eytys

Ivo: Girls taking a dump don’t gross me out at all. I could probably even wipe someone’s ass if it was needed. It’s not something I’d do just for the sake of it, but I mean if she really needed my help, then sure—if both her arms were broken or something. I’ve hung out with girls for long periods of time and noticed that they don’t feel the need to use the toilet. So it’s happened that I’ve told a girl that you know, "You’re allowed to go to the bathroom, lady." But the answer is either “No I don’t need to,” or she jokes about it with a classic “nice girls don’t use the toilet." I guess I find it a bit provoking when girls think that guys are that stupid to believe that guys are the only ones who need to take a shit.

Manna: I shit just as fast as other people pee so everybody always think it was the person who used the bathroom before me who took a shit, if it smells. It bores the hell out of me to shit. I don’t think that any of my boyfriends have ever noticed that I’ve done number two, so I guess they’ve thought I’m the kind of girl who never shits. But once I had a boyfriend who had some serious issues with his poop. So we talked a lot about it, and it appeared as if I was the normal one, because he was shitting all the time and I wasn’t.
 

Beyond Retro dress, Hunter boots


Malin: Maybe I’m not that cool with talking about my toilet habits. But all right, I’m OK with using public restrooms, although it definitely stresses me out if there’s a queue. I find outhouse bogs really cozy.
 

Beyond Retro T-shirt, American Apparel running shorts, shoes from Reebok

Nadia: I don’t really feel weird about using public restrooms. I just fill the toilet with tissue if I’m doing number two, and I use plenty of soap when I wash my hands. I guess it’s not the first thing you want to talk about on a date, but I don’t think it’s a romance killer.
 

Julia Koistinen dress, shoes from Vans

Beata: I think it’s pretty horrible that girls can get health issues from not using the bathroom, but I’m not surprised at all, considering that a lot of people talk about not wanting to use the bathroom when they’re at school, work, or at their boyfriend’s house. I just flush water at the same time by instinct. So it’s not really an issue for me.
 

American Apparel top, Beyond Retro skirt, shoes from Vans

Jennifer: Don’t make a big deal out of it—I’m pretty relaxed. What is there to say really? Just go in, do your thing, and leave.
 

Beyond Retro jumper, socks and panties from American Apparel


Johan: Why on earth would girls’ toilet habits gross me out? It shouldn’t be taboo, and it doesn’t ruin passion. However, I probably wouldn’t shit in front of my girlfriend, unless it’s necessary for some reason. But I wouldn’t prefer doing it. My trick to hide what I’m doing is to put loud music on.

Johanna: I’m cool with using the toilet anywhere. There really isn’t much to talk about. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
 

Beyond Retro T-shirt, American Apparel running shorts, American Apparel panties, shoes from Reebok

Tidbits: Snail Facials Are All the Rage, and Dolly Parton Opens an Online Store

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While we at VICE toil to bring you stories about prostitute-managed fashion labels in São Paulo, transvestites wearing bikinis made out of rats, Japanese kids who inject bagels into their faces, and photo shoots set in suburban tower blocks in Russia, deep down we know that, really, all you want is fashion's TL;DR. That's why we created Tidbits, a regular column that aggregates the dumbest, weirdest, and funniest stuff we see, watch, hear, or read in the fashion part of the internet.

Images by the author

SNAIL FACIALS ARE ALL THE RAGE

People are willing to shell out tons of money to try any weird beauty procedure if they're convinced it'll help turn back the effects of time. The newest, most disgusting trend unearthed by Asians, and globally embraced by rich white people, is snail trail facials. These aren't the typical snail trails left behind on a stripper pole. We're talking about the physical slime that glides off of escargot—the stuff snails sometimes use to find a mate, to be exact. The procedure, which costs roughly about $250, entails letting three organic-fed snails try to find someone to have hermaphrodite sex with all over your face, allowing their slut juices to seep into your pores. The Japanese founded the beauty regime, and it has since spread to disgusting spas near you.

STOLEN ROLEX FOUND INSIDE WOMAN’S VAGINA

The Rolex Presidential Day-Date is one of the most recognizable and ageless timepieces around. It’s been worn by legends like Dwight Eisenhower, JFK, Nixon, Tony Soprano, and more recently was spotted inside of the vagina of a masseuse (*cough* hooker *cough*) at a hotel in Las Vegas. It all started when 66-year-old Kenneth Herold was shark-eyeing babes at a bar inside the hotel when he met Christina Lafave. The two ended up hitting it off, and before he knew it, he had skipped off with her to his room for a private $300 massage (yeah fucking right!). Within five minutes of Christina asking Kenneth to remove his Rolex, he realized his $35,000 timepiece had gone missing. The two got into an altercation over the disappearing item, so Kenneth called hotel security. Christina claimed that Kenneth became upset with her when she refused to perform oral sex without a condom. Shortly after the police arrived for questioning, she admitted that she had stuck the watch up her cooter. She was taken to a local hospital, where an x-ray proved she was telling the truth. The lesson learned here is don't stick things you steal up your hoo-ha. No hiding place is safe from the police.

DOLLY PARTON HAS AN ONLINE STORE

Of all the female superstars with insanely dedicated fanbases, Dolly Parton ranks supreme—and for good reason. On top of being a world famous actress, author, and philanthropist, the 68-year-old singer-songwriter also happens to be an amazing role model. She’s a strong woman, has her own theme park called Dollywood, and is tied with Beyoncé for the most Grammy nominations for a female solo artist. There is no way she isn’t raking in profits. Dolly's profits are surely about to double after she recently opened a brand new online store. At the present time, the e-commerce site is solely comprised of a small handful of products: a few t-shirts, a keychain, one mug, a denim cut off vest (meh?), one lonely pink cowboy hat, and a few other items. I hope there are plans to expand the line to include more attention grabbing items, preferably clothes that are covered in an obnoxious amount of sequins. But all bullshit aside, the whole reason for this post is the image. I just needed a valid reason to spend my time at the office making a GIF of the country goddess’s bouncing boobs. I hope you enjoy the picture as much as I loved creating it. FASHION!

DIMEPIECE BRILLIANTLY PUTS CAM’RON’S FACE ON A BIKINI

It’s hard to make your mark and turn a buck in a market that's already saturated with sportswear designers—at least, unless you put the face of a well known rapper, like Lil B, Tupac, or Killa Cam, on your clothing. Dimepiece, a Los Angeles-based women’s fashion house, must have realized this scheme's brilliance, because for spring and summer 2014, they’ve put out new products featuring two of the three aforementioned hip-hop superstars. It’s not the first time anyone has ever seen either of the men on a t-shirt (most people are probably sick of seeing them on clothes already), but Dimepiece did it right, especially acing the Cam’ron side of the collection. Everyone loves Cam’s pink fur ensemble, and all girls definitely want that displayed on their big ol' bitties this Spring Break. ALL girls!

AMERICAN EAGLE TO MAKE CLOTHING FOR DOGS

Riding on the coattails of an extremely elaborate, yet successful, April Fool's Day joke, American Eagles Outfitters has decided to start making clothing for dogs. The prank initially found its way to the internet days before April 1, when the brand planned to feature its normcore-style apparel on dogs decked out in beanies and sunglasses. After the company finally revealed that it was a really crappy joke, people started to say, “WTF? Seriously? I want my dogs to dress just as shitty as I do,” and the brand decided they were onto something, and American Beagle Outfitters was spawned. There is no official release date yet—just the reassurance that very soon you and your dog will be able to dress like really unfashionable twinsies, and I suppose that’s pretty cool. Girls will love that shit.

BILL MURRAY PROVES HE’S STILL THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH

Bill Murray, star of Groundhog Day, MeatballsGhostbusters, Caddyshack, and every good movie ever made, was recently spotted on a golf course doing what he does best—being the coolest man on earth. Period. For years the internet has run amok with phenomenal stories about the elusive actor's well documented spontaneous acts of wilding out and his eclectic personal style. No matter what he's wearing, he always looks good. Bill is the kind of man that can wear five types of plaid all at once, or a Hawaiian shirt under a tuxedo, and never end up on a worst dressed list. Hell, he could even wear platform Crocs with a baby pink utility vest, translucent cargo shorts, and a jock strap, and fans would still probably say, “Wow, I'm not really mad at that.” This past weekend at the annual Caddyshack Charity Golf Tournament, everyone's favorite I-wish-he-was-my-dad fashion icon was seen sporting a pair of Pabst Blue Ribbon shorts. This isn't the most surprising look the fashion world has seen from him, but he still looked pretty sick and probably got laid as a result of his outfit. There is no way at least one woman didn’t try to hit it.

NYPD SHUTS DOWN SUPREME X NIKE AIR FORCE 1 LAUNCH EVENT IN NEW YORK

If you’ve ever seen a Supreme store on the day of a new clothing drop, you know how annoying such an event can be. The east coast-founded streetwear clothiers recently launched an epic collaboration with Nike to try to breathe new life into the classic basketball footwear model of choice, the Nike Air Foamposite 1. Because sneaker heads have a heart attack anytime Nike or Supreme releases any product, it was no surprise that New York City lost its goddamn mind over the joint collection. The collab, which features brocade-print sneakers, jerseys, and basketball shorts in both black and red, was slated to go on sale at midnight at Supreme's Lafayette Street location, but when crowds began to swell, the NYPD shut the whole thing down because of “concerns for public safety,” which sounds a little shady if you ask me. But there wasn't much to worry about, because the next morning NYC residents were able to purchase the collection on the store’s website—this time without having to worry about being pepper sprayed in the face by New York City’s finest.

LULULEMON SPRAY-ON YOGA PANTS GAG

The extremely overpriced, butt crack-revealing activewear label Lululemon played a fairly decent April Fool's Day prank by announcing they were selling spray-on yoga pants. (If you’re bored btw, please see girlsinyogapants.com.) The brand, which no one can afford to sweat their asses off in, poked fun at their already see-through workout leggings by posting the fake product on their site and slapping a $1,200 price tag on it. This wasn’t an original idea. A week before, Jimmy Kimmel aired a segment spoofing the nearly naked pants, which quickly went viral. That said, it’s really refreshing, and almost respectful, that a company as seemingly stuffy as Lululemon has a sense of humor, especially since everyone always makes fun of them for their poorly made, abhorrently expensive gear.

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VICE Premiere: Mishka's Pre-Summer 2014 R1TU4L5 Lookbook

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Mishka is always on some weird, obscure shit, which is why we fuck with them. Their latest collection draws inspiration from the internet and the occult. This time around, they've put a macabre spin on staple garments like T-shirts, snapbacks, hoodies, and jerseys. All of the gear features recurring cryptic iconography and a dramatic gothic color palette. According to Mishka's Andrew Fanelli, "This is not so much a departure for us, as it is a redefining of themes that have already existed within Mishka's visual vocabulary." Click through the dope images above and visit Mishka's website for more bloodshot eyeballs and arcane cultural touchstones. 

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